


need a place to hide (but I can't find one near)

by duaa



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Highschool AU, M/M, Not A Happy Ending, Overthinking, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, anger born from worry, badthingshappenbingo, yuh doy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:22:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23753806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duaa/pseuds/duaa
Summary: Logan never missed a day of school without telling Virgil, never disappeared like this. He always messaged him or swung by the school during lunch or called him during study hall. Logan was consistent, precise, never missing the mark. Virgil knew that it normal for a person to want some space, but right now, Logan might as well as have disappeared off of the face of the planet.And Virgil was determined to freak out.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Deceit Sanders
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1707997
Comments: 13
Kudos: 53
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	need a place to hide (but I can't find one near)

**Author's Note:**

> badthingshappenbingo here - https://kameraishere.tumblr.com/post/615755515743617024/httpsarchiveofourownorgusersduaa-uhh-go

Virgil woke up to his blaring alarm, the familiar sound grating his ears. Fumbling to turn it off, he tried shaking the haze off. His curtains were drawn, door closed - he could fall asleep for a another hour and still get to school on time from the looks of it. Maybe that's what he should do, he was pretty sleepy after all. That's why sleeping after midnight was not a good idea. Mmmhmm, he was already slipping off to the blissful abyss of sleep. A little nap never hurt anyone, that's what Logan said -

Logan. 

Jolting out of bed, he drank the stale glass of water that was always by his bedside. How could he forget Logan? Jumping in to the bathroom and getting through his routine as fast as he could, he prayed that he wouldn't be late. Logan could already be there, sitting all alone, waiting for him. Logan could be wondering where he was, wondering why Virgil wasn't showing face. He might think that Virgil forgot (he technically did, but he remembered now, and that was what mattered!) and leave. What if he left?

That thought was enough to make Virgil frantically pick up his bag and phone and leave his house. The air was still, unmoving and slightly chilly. He wondered if he should go and get a jacket; one glance at the time put all of that out of his head. He was already ten minutes late. He would text Logan, but Logan's phone recently broke, no amount of rice could fix it - and wasn't that just the recipe for disaster. This was how miscommunication drove people apart, irreparably shattering frie- relationships. He didn't want to make the same mistakes twice. 

Rounding a corner, explanation at the tip of his tongue, he realised with a shock that the field was empty. Logan wasn't there - at least in his sight. 

"Lo? Logan!" Carefully jumping the fence, sighing when his jeans didn't snag on it, he called out. Straining his ears, he couldn't hear anything, the slightest rustle, a breath - nothing. Maybe Logan was also late? That would make sense, sometimes Logan would cancel, maybe he messaged Virgil on tumblr? 

It did unnerve him, breaking routine without any explanation or confirmation. They were like a well oiled clock, meeting up in the meadow near the abandoned cemetery everyday before school for years now. They could barely talk in school, hanging out with different crowds, glancing at each other during class and lunch. Sometimes they would end up in detention together, sometimes they would both volunteer at the library. Sometimes they would cut class.

They would always meet up before school. 

He knew that it was possible that Logan just couldn't make it, but he desperately hoped that Logan was just late. He would come bounding down the street and leap over the gate with practised ease. Virgil could apologise for -

Wait.

What if Logan did come, but left. He came here, waited for so, _so_ long, got tired, went home. Maybe he was mad at Virgil, pissed because Virgil was sleeping, ignoring his alarm. How many times would Virgil fall short, how many times would he mess up - he needed to get his act together. Logan stuck with an excuse of a boyfriend, Virgil was always to stuck up in his own worries and problems, he never checked up on Logan, never was on time. Logan had every right to be mad at him. 

Taking in a deep breath, Virgil opened the gate, vowing to apologise to Logan at school. He knew he was blowing this out of proportion, cognitive distortions and all that, so he would just find Logan. Besides, Logan could be late. That was also a possibility. He thought of leaving a note on the bench, but decided against it. School was beginning in a few minutes anyway. 

It would be fine. He would make it up to Logan, and they would be fine. Everything was _fine_.

***

Everything was on fire and not fucking fine. Virgil was standing on a toilet in the bathroom, the timer on his phone counting down the minutes he had left as he refreshed his tumblr messages. Logan wasn't in chemistry class, and right now, neither was Virgil. His flushed face had been enough for Mr. Hall to grant him a bathroom pass, shaking his head as Virgil had all but sprinted out of class. Patton had asked him what was wrong just Mr. Hall had shut the door to the classroom. In a feat of great bravery and none of the cowardice Virgil usually exhibited, he had pointed out that Logan wasn't here. Mr. Hall had shrugged, carefree like the most important person in Virgil's life was insignificant.

Logan never missed a day of school without telling Virgil, never disappeared like this. He always messaged him or swung by the school during lunch or called him during study hall. Logan was consistent, precise, never missing the mark. Virgil knew that it normal for a person to want some space, but right now, Logan might as well as have disappeared off of the face of the planet.

Patton had tried consoling him, tried to tell him that maybe Logan was really sick, so sick that he couldn't message Virgil:

_"Honey, maybe he's in the hospital or something?"_

_"WHAT?" oh shit oh shit oh shit_

_"Uh, like for a routine check-up! Or for new glasses. Okay, okay, maybe he just needs some space, you know what Logan is like! So withdrawn and, y'know, emotion-less."_

Yeah, he was not that good at comforting Virgil. Or talking to Virgil about his boyfriend. Or talking about Logan in general. Patton and Roman somehow bought Logan's gimmick of having no feelings, relentlessly taunting him or pointing out his flaws. He had no idea why they would do that, why they would be so cruel and unforgiving when it came to Logan. Roman was let off the hook for almost bullying Virgil the whole way through middle school; but one time Logan snaps at him and suddenly they need to break up, and 'why can't you see the way he treats you is _terrible_ '. 

How far was too far? How much was Virgil willing to listen to, how long was he willing to let them go on and on like that? Where would he draw the line, how long would it take before they inevitably crossed the point of no return - and how long would Virgil have this going on? He knew that one day Roman and Patton would stop toeing the line, one day they would be on the other side. Knew that it was coming: they were incessantly against Logan - 

His timer went off. He sighed, hopping off the toilet, stuffing his phone in his pocket. Mr. Hall was an efficient teacher, if Virgil stayed any longer than his allocated time, he would be missing a lot. And Logan would want detailed notes. 

When he was back in class, Patton motioned for him to scoot his chair closer, sliding a note to him. A wave of anger surged through him when he saw that Patton was humming, unbothered by anything. Nudging the note off of his desk, he stared straight ahead, ignoring Patton's gaze on him.

***

“And thus, I valiantly - Virgil are you even listening?!”

“Huh?” 

Virgil looked up to see Roman shaking his head, reaching out to put an arm around him. Patton held up an orange slice in front of his mouth, making it look like he was smiling. He dropped his gaze back to his food, feet tapping out a distorted rhythm. Patton was really getting on his nerves now, how did he expect Virgil to just forget about things when he was always given his sweet time? Virgil had every right to be worried, every right to be acting the way he did and Patton almost threw a fit in the library because Virgil wasn’t laughing at the jokes he was reading out. He knew that Patton was just trying to cheer him up, but Virgil made it very clear that he wanted to be left alone right now. 

At least Roman was better, he didn’t try to make him laugh, he just barged on forward like everything was fine. Virgil appreciated that, he knew that it Roman's own way of trying to help. Roman was... different from Patton - Patton had an opinion and he would stick to that no matter what; Roman could be persuaded to see things from a different perspective. It was just that Patton was always doing the persuading. One time Roman confided in him that he didn't always agree with Patton, it was just less work to nod along. 

_"Besides, it's always about something extremely trivial, y'know? If it was of real consequence, I'd never let him bulldoze me over."_ Virgil wasn't sure why disregarding people wasn't of 'real consequences', but he didn't want to make a big deal anyways. 

He cast his eyes over to where Logan would usually sit at lunch, winking at him occasionally. His friends were there, the same spots as always. Remus was cackling, a bold sound that rattled off the walls. D slid a paper across to him, and Remus' laughter magnified. Maybe they would know where Logan was? Virgil knew he was putting too much thought into this, but Logan could be hurt! He could be hurt, stranded, mad at Virgil, sick or even de-

"Aw, honey, we can hear you thinking!" Patton coed. "Why don't -"

"Just go." Roman's voice was determined, he shook Virgil's shoulders and nodded. "Go ask. You know you want to. It's fine, Virge." 

Patton stared at Roman, mouth agape, "What? No, you don't have to do that, there's better things to do." 

"Go, Virgil. I'll see you in History, okay?" Virgil nodded, feeling out of it. "You can do it." 

Slinging his backpack onto his shoulders, he sighed - he knew that nothing was going to happen to him. He knew Remus and D, they wouldn't laugh or make fun. He would ask a straightforward question and a straightforward answer he would get. The distance between the two tables seemed to suddenly stretch on for miles. Maybe he could pass their table, head to the water cooler and hear them talking about how Logan mentioned he would be sleeping through school? He looked back at Roman and Patton, Patton looked like he was going to say something but Roman held an arm in-front of him. 'Go', he mouthed, making a shooing gesture with his free hand. 

Although Remus probably saw Virgil approaching, he didn't say anything, gaze unfocused as he snorted at whatever D was saying to him. Virgil could hear his heart thrumming in his chest, an unpredictable rhythm. The ever present pit in his stomach opened up, and suddenly he wanted to just go back and sing songs with Patton. 

"Um, I- uh, wanted to ask if, if you knew where Logan was?" He mumbled once he reached their table. They looked up at, expectantly. D tucked a lock of hair behind his ear, raising an eyebrow. 

"Could you repeat that?" Virgil noticed the earbud in his other hand and almost whooped in relief of the fact that they weren't doing this on purpose. 

"Do you know where, uh, Logan is, maybe?" Remus frowned at that, clicking his tongue. They exchanged a look before Remus turned to Virgil, scrutinising him. 

"He didn't tell us anything. We thought you would know?" 

Virgil's blood was running cold, no one knew where Logan was and he almost always had to pick a fight with someone he saw and _oh dear god, maybe he ran into someone and they started fighting and maybe the other person had a knife as people are wont to have and Logan was defenceless and now slowly bleeding out in an alley somewhere and it was all because Virgil was never on time and if he was time and didn't forget about his boyfriend he would've been there and maybe Logan wouldn't have gotten in a brawl and even if he did Virgil could have done something but he was just a pathetic excuse for a friend, let alone getting involved romantically and when he finds Logan they have to break up because Virgil is just a liability and a burden_ \- 

"Ah fuck, he's doing his thing again, Rem do something." 

"VIRGIL! WHAT ON EART -" 

"Keep it down!" He hissed, reaching to pull up his hood before realising that he was only wearing his shirt. 

"Listen, he'll be fine. Don't worry that much about it. Worry a moderate amount. He can take care of himself." D drawled, waving a hand around. 

"Or, just cut class and go look for him!" Remus cheerfully suggested, as D shook his head. 

"No, Virgil stay and write notes, Logan would kill all of us if between the three of us no one wrote notes. We'll go look after the History test. Any..." Whilst that comforted Virgil, he was way too preoccupied with the splash of baby pink peeking out from D's hair. He shifted his head, and with growing horror Virgil realised what it was. Eyes widening as he leaned slight forward to make sure he was seeing that right, he raised a hand gingerly towards D. 

"What?" He snapped. As Virgil swallowed. He should have just ignored it. 

"Um, there's, gum. In, uh, in your hair." Remus wordlessly directed D's hand to where it was. D's shoulders slumped as he snatched up his bag, marching towards the bathroom. Remus followed pursuit, scrambling. 

And when in History D turned up without his usual shoulder-length hair, eyes red with the scent of smoke surrounding him, Virgil didn't say anything. But true to their word, right after submitting their paper, the two immediately left the class, a blur of motion catching Virgil's eye as they passed the ground his window looked out at. Virgil went through the rest of his classes feeling uneasy, leg tap tap taping.

"Virgil!" Roman called out once the bell rang, phone clutched in his hand. Virgil stopped in his tracks, letting Roman catch up. "So, uh, my brother wanted me to tell you that they did not find him. Logan. They did, however, talk to his mom and she said that Logan hadn't planned on coming to school. Apparently, he told her that he messaged you."

"What?"

"Um, yeah. D thinks that connectivity issues could've been a problem or maybe he forgot to hit send."

"That makes no sense..."

"Look, normally I would peg it on Remus, but I know that he is not lying right now. So listen, since his mom knew, he obviously was not in danger, okay?" 

"I have to go."

***

"Virgil? What are you doing here?" 

A million thoughts raced through his head; hearing Logan's voice made him immediately want to cry, let go of all the stress and _bullshit_ he had been thinking about the whole day. Logan seemed perfectly alright - not a single scratch, not a single hair harmed.

"Where were you?" His voice cracked, tears welling in his eyes as he took in the fact that Logan was very much here, and not bleeding out in some alley. "Where were you? I was so worried!" He repeated. 

"Oh, my apologies, Virgil. I didn't think it was that important." 

"You were gone for a whole day! You just disappeared in thin air, where _were_ you?" Logan looked taken back, hands splayed out in a placating gesture. "You didn't tell anyone, not D or - or Remus, or your mom!"

"Virgil, I'm sorry, I didn't think -"

"Really? Did you really think it wasn't that important?" His hands were shaking - why were his hand shaking? 

Logan came closer to him, concern etched into his face. Virgil took a moment to recollect his thoughts and think about what was happening here. Logan didn't show for a few hours, and Virgil had been panicking about it for the whole time, annoying friends, teachers - ex-friends. Annoying his best friend and boyfriend. God, he was such a high maintenance job, _clingy_ and _needy_ and oh so desperate. Where were you in the morning, Logan? Why weren't you at school? Why didn't you tell me, Logan? Am I not important? How would he feel if Logan did the same to him, asking overbearing questions every other minute? Logan was a human with his own wishes and his own life, Virgil was just a part of it - not the master puppeteer. What gave him the right to question Logan like this, what gave him the right to run around with his tail between his legs every time anyone turned the question on to him? 

"Virgil. V, I am so sorry, I should have know - "

"No, stop. Don't apologise, _I'm_ sorry, I - I shouldn't be asking such questions." Logan looked confused. Virgil's throat was closing up, eyes were stinging. "I... I don't think we should see each other anymore." He couldn't look at Logan, he was such an asshole. He didn't have Logan's back, he never stuck up for him, never told people to stop making fun of him - instead going ahead and being best friends with the very people who made Logan's life living hell. He didn't trust Logan, didn't think he was capable enough to make his own decisions. He yelled at Logan for no reason, took out his anger on some one who did not deserve it at all. And now, he was breaking up with the most wonderful person he would meet, some one so smart and funny and thoughtful and kind. Some one who didn't deserve to be held down by Virgil. 

"This can not be why you want to end -" His eyes were glued to the ground, determined to not Logan in the face.

"We... you don't deserve to put up with all of this. Logan you are one of the most intelligent and considerate people I know. I'm just a kid you liked at the start of high school. It isn't fair, of - of me to be doing this to you." He wanted to go home. He wanted to cry. He wanted this to be over. He wanted the earth to open up and swallow him whole. He wanted to go to Logan. He wanted yesterday. 

The silence seemed to stretch on forever, and eventually he heard the sound of footsteps, getting more and more distant.

**Author's Note:**

> lmk if you see a typo! hope you like it ❤️💕


End file.
